Tiny Gods

Two unrelated and virtually unlinkable stories about female astronauts have been linked, virtually, by yours truly.  Together, they form a grim view of the future.

First there was the diaper astronaut lady.  We don’t need to talk about her, because there’s nothing left to be said.

But now, oh boy, now we’ve got an active duty female astronaut making headlines with her extra-terrestrial faux-pas. 

The conclusion I have come to is that, I’m sorry to say, 2001: A Space Oddysey will not become a reality any time soon.  Sure, it’s already 7-going-on-8 years overdue, but I’m starting to worry that we’ll never see it come to fruition.  You see, you just can’t have floating space monoliths without incredibly creepy space babies.  

It’s a PB&J situation.  Basically a peas-and-carrots arrangement.  

If our Earth Women don’t start playing their A-game in orbit there will be serious consequences.  Such as no space babies, no space colonization, and no interstellar colony ship runs that turn over 3 or 40 generations en route.  

I don’t mean to sound like a chauvinist, but our Space Men can handle their tools, so maybe they should be having our Space Babies.  So, thanks for the effort, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, but next time maybe you should tether your space tools to your space belt and spend a little less time applying your space makeup in the space rear view mirror, am I right fellas?

Ladies, you’ve got a collective reputation to create, and then protect.  If you drop your tools the next little astro-gal is gonna have to pick up twice as many moon rocks to get some “space cred”.  Cosmochicks are hawt, so let’s avoid a space-based analog to the old shipping superstitions.

If the salty ol’ space swabs ban women from our shuttles then we’ll never be able to sustain an interstellar war across the width and breath of a hundred galaxies!

But maybe there’s hope after all.

Has it really been that long?  It boggles the mind.  I feel it only proper to commemorate it on TG.

The election is finally over and now we can move on to… the next election!

Everybody and his baby’s mama is reporting that Sarah Palin will be anointed the GOP Chosen One, and of course President Obama will be the incumbent.  But you can’t vote for them. (more…)

So I am going to try my hand at some sort of review of Fallout 3.  I am going to break it down into two parts, the first being more of an overview of the game mechanics, like skills, stats, perks, and a little bit of background info.  I’ll try to avoid anything about the actual story or game play, leaving that for part two.

(more…)

My cat Celia catches a lot of flack for being “prickly” or “mean” or “a bitch”, but really she’s a sweetie pie.  She’s only sweet to me, and everybody else just picks on her until she totally wigs out and releases her inner Tasmanian devil.  To be clear, she only likes me.  To be fair, she only likes me because I’m awesomer than everyone else.  You’ve read what I write, you know I’m awesome and it’s a quick QED to decree that my cat is an excellent judge of character. (more…)

Chances are good you don’t know much about RocknRolla.  There’s not much to know.  I went to see it because it was written and directed by Guy Ritchie, who directed Lock Stock, Snatch, and just divorced Madonna.  Three thumbs up.  If you liked those 2 movies then you’ll be glad to know that RocknRolla is pretty much more of the same.  

I say “pretty much” more of the same because of one feature: this is a prequel.  I’m not spoiling the movie for you, I’m trying to help you enjoy it.  At the end of the film there’s a plug for a sequel titled The Real RocknRolla.  You need to know this so you don’t expect this flick to be self contained.  It’s got all the witty dialog, violence, and terrific characters seen in Ritchie’s other movies, but half the plot and none of the climax.  

Is it enjoyable?  Hell yes.

It is funny, exciting and cool?  Definitely.

Is it worth $9.00 for a ticket? No.

Should you go see it and pay $9.00?  Please do.

I don’t think it’s worth the price but I’m hoping all Ritchie fans will go see the damned movie so it gets good box office and he can make the sequel.  If he doesn’t make the sequel then this one flat out sucks.  If this one is a prequel to something much more interesting (and it really looks to be) then I need you to pay him so he can make it so I can see it.

Think of it like Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2 and go see the bloody thing.

I saw two interesting things on the internet today.

The first was a blog post on the LA Times website, that mentioned Scarlett Johansson.  In the comments area, someone left the following:

I’d like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady.I’ll tell more,those clones(it’s not only 1)made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones,it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,Rhineland-Palatinate,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town.You can’t even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.But warning,H.Kohl staff strictly controlling their clones spreading around the world,they’re NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close with clones you will be controlled too.Original family didn’t authorize any activity with stolen biomaterials,no matter what form it was created in,it’s all need to be back to original family control in Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the way

Matt pointed out that in an alternate future where we had lost WWII, the world could be over run by Scarlett clones.  That by itself might not seem so bad, but he also pointed out that this future would likely be devoid of Natalie Portman.   So, maybe it is a good thing that we won - I wouldn’t want to be part of an alternate future where pictures like the following cannot exist:

Another article I read, on the BBC website, had this to say:

The UK’s Royal Society is to investigate whether ambitious engineering schemes could reduce the impact of global warming…Schemes include putting mirrors in space to reflect sunlight away from the Earth

This is scary stuff!  If we were able to make gigantic mirrors to reflect light away from earth, certainly we could make them stationary above certain areas of the world, shrouding them in darkness.  Psychological warfare at it’s best.  Perhaps if we had this technology several years ago, Mr. Burns would have never been shot.

And yes, this post was a thinly veiled excuse to post a picture of Natalie and Scarlett nearly locking lips.

I bought Fable 2 yesterday. I had some very high expectations despite the fact that I avoided all of the marketing hype. I have only played it for a couple hours so far, and I’d just like to post some of my initial thoughts.

I absolutely loved the first game. I thought that it was one of the most unique RPGs I had played. My only complaints were that it was too short and a little too linear. That didn’t stop me from playing it several times. I thought the character development systems that they used were great. Your character’s appearance would change depending on the decisions you made and NPCs would react to you differently based on how you looked or what deeds you were most famous for. You could buy up property and use it to make money from rent or to stash your collections of wives. There was a lot to do and I enjoyed it.

Fable 2 seems very close to being the same game, but in a bigger world. I don’t mind that at all. There are now more factors that determine your character’s appearance. In addition to good/evil we now have thin/fat, corrupt/pure, and young/old. I really want to make a character that just sits in the starting town and does nothing but eat pies. And then maybe occassionally breaks into people’s houses to steal money and then buy more pies.

The collection of melee weapons at your disposal remain unchanged, though now the choice of weapon seems to have more of an impact on your character’s fighting style. Ranged weapons now include guns. The magic system is pretty different. There is no more mana bar; instead, you charge your spells to make them more powerful. Each spell also has a surround mode and a targetted mode. Right now the only spell I have is Time Control. I can use it in surround mode and slow down time, or I can target a specific enemy and use it to sort of teleport to them (similar to the Assassin’s Rush spell in the first game.) So while I’m in combat, I can just tap the B button anytime I want and I’ll cast my Time Control spell at level 1 and slow down time. If I spend my experience points on another level of that spell, then I can still tap the button at any time to cast it at level 1. If I want to cast it at level 2, I need to hold down the button to charge the spell up. The new system makes using magic simpler than the previous game, so I might actually buy more than one spell this time.

In Fable 2 you get a dog. The dog is awesome. Mine doesn’t seem interested in helping me when I’m in a fight. I’m guessing I need to train him to attack my enemies. What he is really good at, though, is finding treasure. Not only will he sniff out chests, but he can also find items that are buried and show me where to dig.

He has found some pretty epic treasure for me so far. I was really excited the first time I heard him bark and saw him pawing at the ground. “Buried treasure!” I exclaimed as I ran to my faithful canine companion with shovel in hand. I dug up the soil in the spot he indicated and I found… (more…)

McCain went on Letterman the day after the debate and had a friendly conversation with Dave.  It does more damage to his image than Obama could ever do because it shows you McCain as he is - he tells you what he thinks and yes, a lot of it is crazy.  It defies logic that someone could says these things and expect you to believe that they are qualified to be the Potus.

http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/video_player/index/php/967604.phtml?rss

He doesn’t think Joe the Plumber should have to pay higher taxes JUST because he will be owning a successful company that makes profits of over a quarter million bucks a year.  I subbed in the details there, but McCain actually said it wasn’t fair that JtP should have to pay more taxes just because he makes more money.  Well, if you don’t feel that way then why are you still supporting tax brackets at all? 

No, McCain, Americans are not “victims of a drive-by shooting by Washington and Wall Street”.  That is, IMO, promoting the victim culture in America.  Many of these “innocent” Americans helped cause it.  The banks tricked them, but some people I know avoided getting tricked.  It’s possible to not get tricked.  So they had a hand in it.  To blame it on the rich exclusively is to avoid any progress towards not fucking up again.  

Chiding Obama for running such a dirty campaign.  ”He didn’t repudiate” the remarks about Lewis. WTF? Letterman said he was satisfied with it but because he didn’t use the word repudiate it doesn’t count.  Well that’s just dandy.  I wonder if Palin ever said some lies you should repudiate…

Try not to get too offended: is having a baby with Downs Syndrome something that McCain should be PROUD of Palin for?  I mean, is that a great achievement that she had to work hard on?  He keeps saying how great she is for having a “very special” child and I don’t understand it.  Would you say “She has a baby with two left feet and we’re very proud of her for having such a very special child.”?

Obama FORCED McCain to run a filthy dirty campaign because… he wouldn’t do town halls.  They did a town hall style debate and McCain got his ass handed in.

Palin is qualified BECAUSE: Bill Clinton was a good president (McCain, you really think so?) and because Ronald Reagan had no experience so she’ll be fine if she’s the Potus during 9/11 part 2?

“There’s millions of words said in a campaign… come onnnnnnnnn!” -McCain on not wanting to take responsibility for Sarah Palin saying Obama pals around with terroristS - plural.  So  Obama should be held accountable for every word that he says or hears from any person you don’t like, but you’re fine with your VP running her mouth making (and I mean this ->) false accusations about involvement with domestic terrorism?  Repudiate that.

Please, for the love of everything American - do NOT vote for McCain/Palin.  Listen to what he says (and she says) and use the brain you have to process the bullshit and the truth.  You will not vote for McCain if you use your fucking LOGIC.

This November, Ohioans will vote to amend the state constitution to allow a casino to be operated within the state.  Ohio has consistently voted against legalized casinos, as recently as two years ago, and based on the wording of this latest attempt, we should continue the trend. (more…)